Stay In Motion
Ok so I've been bad and it's time I make a confession. When I launched Hola Gwapa in September of 2018 I wrote my first blog post, Start by Starting, where I shared my journey as an Artist up until this point. You ladies LOVED it and I got DM after DM thanking me for sharing my story. Honestly, I was shocked that anyone besides my parents even read it. In that post, I vowed to candidly blog about my victories, frustrations and fears while developing the Hola Gwapa community, website and online shop.
Hoping to this outlet as an opportunity to express myself creatively AND inspire some of you by sharing my own experiences and insights, I set the goal to STAY IN MOTION by blogging for you weekly. I mean... how hard could it really be?! My friends have always told me I should start a blog because I would write them funny motivational messages PLUS I had already received rave reviews on post #1. Piece of cake, I had it all planned out and it was going to be fabulous! And well... I haven't written a post since.
So here we are in February of 2019, 6 months later, and I'm really proud (but also slightly embarrassed) to FINALLY be writing my second post. Procrastination at it's finest, yee-haw! The thing that's so ironic to me about the amount of time it's taken me to get here, is that I've literally been thinking about writing this post for the past 6 months. I've tossed and turned writing and re-writing these lines over and over again in my head. Ok I'll open with this... Then I'll write that... That's perfect...That sounds like something a Blogger would say... No that's not funny enough... Be more transparent... What are you even doing? You're not a Blogger... K, this is pointless...No one cares about this Nisha, go to bed... These are the thoughts that would both keep me up at night AND hold me back from sitting down, pouring a hot cup of coffee, opening up my laptop and ACTUALLY just writing the dam thing!
So why haven't I written?! Hmmm... Writers' block?! Not enough hours in the day?! Nothing worth writing about?! The romanticized reason behind why I haven't followed through with blogging about my thoughts, challenges, and process like I had originally planned is that when it comes to producing... I'm a perfectionist. I don't want to put anything out there that doesn't look, feel, taste, smell or sound 100% PERFECT.
Now even though this may be true, I think the more honest straight forward answer is that I let doubt creep in, and hang out for way too long. Honey, someone calls this b*$%# an Uber because she has got to go! It's the fear that no one cares about what I have to say UNLESS it's perfect that has truly held me back. Does that make sense?! Does it resonate with you as a female Artist?! When I scroll through gorgeous IG feeds, websites and blogs for hours on end searching for the next Artists and Entrepreneurs to feature, it can feel almost impossible NOT to play the comparison game. So I find myself getting caught up in this negative self-talk that if what I have to say or the work I produce isn't as good as another Artists or Blogger then I just choose not to share it at all, my work and talent remain stagnant and the cycle continues.
BUT not anymore! I'm here now writing this post in an effort to break that cycle, and to tell doubt and fear buh-bye! Your times up and ya gots ta go! Because when I scroll far enough back through some of the Artists and Entrepreneurs feeds that I admire most (If you haven't done this yet, I highly encourage it!) to when they very first started, their work wasn't NEARLY as good as it is now. In fact, in some cases it's horrible! Because it would be WEIRD if they started out as good as they are right now. It's the Artists commitment to stay in motion and to continue sharing their work in real time, over and over and over again that truly produces talent and generates success and opportunity. It's their vulnerability to share that evolution publicly that builds such a loyal foundation of fans and followers.
I truly believe that the most important thing we can do as Artists is to start by starting, stay in motion and continue to share our work with as many people as we possibly can as often as we possibly can.
The second we pause for doubt or hold back for fear, or we choose not to share our work or our words or our story or our process WE ALL LOOSE. The second we don't post something because it needs one more edit that we know we'll never get around to or because it's just not quite there yet or because it didn't turn out as we expected it to WE ALL LOOSE.
That's why it's something as seemingly simple as completing and sharing this post with you that really gets me feeling giddy and victorious because it represents a choice that I've made to STAY IN MOTION a creative. And I truly do not care if it's just one person (hi mom!) who reads this and it challenges them to start thinking about what they can do to stay in motion or hell if it's just me re-reading this post over and over again to myself until I am brave enough to write another post.
As a commitment to STAY IN MOTION I've promised myself to write one blog post every two weeks, bad or good, I post it. One post every two weeks about what I'm thinking, feeling, seeing, hearing, wondering, and creating at that time. One post every two weeks so that my thoughts stay in motion, my hands stay in motion and my creative juices STAY IN MOTION. Because it is never producing "bad" work that makes us a failure, it's producing no work at all.
There that wasn't so hard after all!